Until recently, little was written in the scientific journals about how lung cancer patients feel when a family member smokes. We can try to guess, but unless we live with lung cancer ourselves, we can’t fully understand. What we have learned is that lung cancer patients struggle with considerable distress as they attempt to understand a family members’ continued smoking, and that this distress can be expressed in different ways.
Patients with lung cancer tend to take 2 very different approaches to deal with the distress they feel when a family member still smokes:
- Preserving relationship – Some lung cancer survivors feel that staying connected is more important than confronting a family member who smokes. They worry that bringing up smoking may negatively impact the relationship, when they need support from family members the most. Though they experience distress, they try to push those feelings aside to preserve their relationships.
- Risking relationship – We could call this group the “naggers.” They recognize the importance of their relationships with family members, but feel a need to continually confront their relative who smokes. Even though they long for closeness and support, they push that family member further away emotionally.
Sadly, neither of these approaches (when done without the support of others), resulted in helping family members quit smoking -– and certainly resulted in family conflict. The stoic patient who does not speak about her feelings may feel helpless, or harbor resentment about her inability to express her concerns. The nagger may cause smoking family members to resent his input and withdraw.
Studies do suggest that some people who have a relative with lung cancer have an increased motivation to quit smoking. In this setting, the smoker may be more likely to quit if they receive encouragement from someone in addition to their relative living with lung cancer. Researchers consider the time when someone is diagnosed with cancer and other conditions “teachable moments,” times when people may be more open to adopting healthy lifestyle practices. One study suggests that this may work for family members of cancer patients as well. In this study, however, smokers were offered support and encouragement from healthcare professionals that followed up, rather than their relative with lung cancer alone.
Further Reading:
- Tips For Lung Cancer Survivors With Family Members Who Smoke
- Tips For Smokers That Have Family Members With Lung Cancer
Sources:
Bottorff, J. et al. Continued family smoking after lung cancer diagnosis: the patient’s perspective. Oncology Nursing Forum. 2009. 36(3):E126-32.
McBride, C. et al. Distress and motivation for smoking cessation among lung cancer patients’ relatives who smoke. Journal of Cancer Education. 2003. 18(3):150-6.
Schilling, A. Recruiting cancer patients to participate in motivating their relatives to quit smoking. A Cancer control study of the Cancer and Leukemia Group B (CALGB 9072). Cancer. 1997. 79(1):152-60.
