We don't like to talk about the final stages of cancer, but sometimes hearing stories from others can give us ideas on ways to cope, and not only cope, but honor our loved one during their last days. What helped you cope as a family member or what helped you honor your loved one during the final stages of cancer? Share Your Story
To my one in a million mum
- Since my dad died 6 years ago my bond with my mum was so strong She had pulmarary hypertension so took a lot of tablets to help her manage it but she never complained 2 years ago she was taking ill with peunomia on Christmas Day she was in hospital for 4 weeks we thought we might lose her. But she battled on and was left with scarring on the lung. I came down in march time to find her struggling for breath in bed late at night I sat with her till it had passed and told her to get it checked out. She went for her first scan and was later told they'd seen something so she was sent for second scan which was a ct to check again. Results came back it was most likely cancer. A biopsy needed carrying out so I sat with her while they did it holding her hand tight. She also had a fluid on the lung do this was drained. We were waiting for results and on the 5 th April I came down to find her stressed on the floor but shed gone I tryed to resuscitate. It was so quick. I miss her so much.
- —Guest Tess
- My dear sweet wife ida Louisa died of lung cancer.she was the best event in my life.life so empty without her.longing to be reunited with her.may she r.i.p.never forgotten.
- —Guest norman.conceicao
- My father went to the hospital on the 22nd of March. He said it was pneumonia from his heart failure. The next day the told us it was lung cancer that had spread to his brain, and bones. His lung was filled with fluid. They sent him home one the 28th where he spent his last few days. On easter we went back to the hospital with his leg in pain that he said was the worst of his life. They told us he had blood clots in his leg and wanted to amputate. I said no because they said he would only live a few weeks with he cancer because he couldn't get treatment due to his heart. They told me there was no hope in saving his leg and he might not make it thru the surgery because his blood was to thin. They said he couldnt go back home he would have to go to a nursing home. He was a proud man and i didnt want him to suffer for the few days he had left. He passed on April 3rd two days after i turned 20. He got me to adulthood. Rest easy dad. I love you
- —Guest Kaitlynn
Father was just diagnosed
- My father was just diagnosed with lung cancer. I don't know what stage it is yet, but the docs said that it's very serious. He has multiple lesions in his brain. I'm so scared. My uncle died from cancer, but it wasn't as scary as this. They said that if he doesn't get chemo, he might not remember us. I'm so scared, I don't want him to die, and I don't want to see him lying around and suffering alone in a hospital. I feel like my world is falling apart. All these things are being thrown at me and my family so suddenly...I just want him to come home...I don't want him to go away. My mom is always trying not to cry, and my heart hurts every time I think about him. There are so many things that remind me of my father, and I don't know how I'm going to cope with school.
- —Guest Len
My Mother My Hero
- MY INSPIRATION AND ANGEL
The rainbow in the picture was taken on Christmas Day, 2008, the day my mother went to the hospital while at my sister's for Christmas in Casa Grande, Az. The rainbow, with the vibrant colors, is a representation of my mother's spirit.
My mother became weakended by a low potassium level back in 2007. She was placed in a nursing home for three months. Apparently, to assist her in getting better. She was never the same. Finally, six months later after her potassium kept teeter tottering, she went to another doctor, who informed her she has small cell lung cancer, inoperable.
My Mother did not say a word about the possible negativity of the diagnosis. She immediately asked how to fight it. Cancer may have weakened her physically but it didn't take her spirit. My mother—our mother, wife, grandmother, great-grandmother, daughter, friend, advocate, supporter—she had always been the one there for everyone else.
Gratefully, my older sister did the caretaking.
- —Guest Suzanne
- Angie is 36. She was diagnosed with bone cancer with a Tumor the size of a baseball. She is such a strong woman. She is the First Person in the Southern Hemisphere to have her own bone marrow taken out, cleaned & put back In. Love you angie.
- —Guest A Friend
Live life to the fullest
- I was 7 when my mom died from lung cancer. I was 4 when she was dgisnoaed with it. Just remember (i wish i knew this when i was first coping with it) tell him everything you want to tell him and live life to the fullest i really regret not doing that with my mom. I am now 12 and its been really hard but you have to keep moving on i know thats what everybody's going to tell you but its very true!
- —Guest BGosYqcYwXfYcpnPSwp
Mom might have lung cancer but not sure
- Recently, my mom was told she has a nodule on her lung. She is certain it is cancer. But won't treat or do further tests. She has back pain as well. I suspect she is dying, but I have to respect her decision not to treat herself. I'm scared for her. I just hope they give her good pain killers. So much courage I've read here. My prayers to you all.
- —Guest Andrea
- Today my uncle who hd surgery 4 years ago to remove a tumor frm his liver found out today he has stage 4 cancer in his lungs,he does not smoke or drink so what's the reason?? It breaks my heart to hear my mom in tears,it irritates me to feel helpless so what now? He just stay n suffer because he cannot n has no insurance for treatments?? Is a human life worth less than a dog's?? If anyone know of any rrsources please share,he is a good man n his life has bn hell fr the last ten years,i wish i could save him!! Or try to save him! He is in a new brunswick,nj hosp. He came frm the caribbbean on vacation not to die God have Mercy upon us. Editor's note: With lung cancer, people can still be treated if they do not have insurance. As far as resources available to help with the financial end, check out his article: http://cancer.about.com/od/treatmentoptions/a/cancerfinancial.htm
- —Guest Dawn Davis
I lied and said I'd be ok
- My dad died in 2006. Aside from all the courage my dad had, I saw him break down and saw the fear in his eyes. That was the only time. I remember near the end he saw his brothers and mom that had died years prior. He was aking if I saw themand I wasnt sure if it was the morphine talking. I met a hospice nurse at a job orientation and she told me it was all part of the dying process I was amazed. I love my dad so much & at one point, when it was just my dad and me alone, I lied. I told my dad he could let go. I told him we (my sisters and me) would be ok and not to worry. I lied. I have heard people say when a loved one died, so did part of them. I cant tell you how true that is. I used to be a tough cookie. I used to not take crap from anyone, just like my dad. Now I dont know who I am with out him. Im a mess and I let people walk all over me. Im just not me & its been almost 7years. My dad was 55, I was 27. Yes he smoked, and he said in his bed, "wtf did I do?"& looked at my baby
- —Guest Daughter MB
Wish doctor was honest
- I just burried my beloved sister on saturday.She passed away on the 15.03.13 from stage 4 breast melastatic lung cancer.What saddens me is that the day before she died the hospital discharged her as weak as she was and could barely breath as she was oxygen dependant.I was angry nd insisted that they keep her until she can breath better.Wish the doctor was honest with me nd told me there was nothing more they could do,we shud take her so she can die at home with her children.Found her gasping her last breath at hospital nd she died Didn't get to say goodbye.I really can't cope,I'm on the verge of breaking down.RIP sis. :-(
- —Guest kgomotso
My mums dyeing in a hospice
- This is the hardest time of my life I wish I could take the pain away for her it's not fair they wouldn't let a animal go thru this so why a person :(
- —Guest Lisa
How could it be missed for so long? prt2
- Finally, he went to emergency (in a different city) because he could no longer stand the pain. He was admitted, they did a CT scan, gave him a new morphine prescription and released him.
Two days later, he was back at emergency (in our home town) severely dehydrated, blood pressure almost nil, incoherent and in pain. The next day they were able to get the results of the scan: Stage IV lung cancer, with several probable mets.
He was medivaced to a larger centre, (finally) had his biopsy. The results showed Stage IV lung cancer with mets to both adrenal glands, lesions on his pancreas and spleen, and probable mets to his spine. It was a few days before we had the results.
Less than a week later he passed away.
I can't understand how a 190-lb man can lose 65+ pounds in a few months, present all the classic symptoms of lung cancer (while being in a high-risk category), see multiple doctors and be told there is nothing wrong with him when he is obviously seriously ill?
- —Guest emily
How could it be missed for so long?
- My husband passed away Feb 4/13 from lung cancer. He had been sick and losing weight for months and had had numerous scans and tests done; all came back negative. A lifelong smoker and 2x cancer survivor, despite seeing several doctors, having a persistent cough and shortness of breath, no one checked his lungs. When he went to emergency (again) for severe pain, one doctor commented that there was a mass on his adrenal gland that was "probably benign" but maybe they should get a second opinion. A CT scan happened to catch part of his lungs and showed "a couple small spots". The surgeon told him not to worry about it. A biopsy was ordered, but wouldn't be scheduled for nearly two months. He kept losing weight, was in excrutiating pain that the morphine they had given him could not relieve, and went from being energetic and full of life to listless and unable to move almost overnight. He could not eat or drink anything without severe pain. All he could do was sit in a fetal position.
- —Guest emily
I love you beauitful in so many ways !
- My dad just passed away 6-3-2013 he fort a brave battle .He wonted to die at home .which he did. Hes ashes will return this fri 15-3-2012 . Not once did he complain he never wonted to be a bother to any one . he suffered so much more so in the final two months .His whisper was this is hell .Last 3 days were is a pill . It was cruel to watch such a beautiful man go thru this pain . He battled his cancer for 7 years with many operations chemo radiation treatments. .It all started in the bowel then liver then ended up in his blood lungs throat the last week he would say get this golf ball out of it . To he was unable to talk .But even then 2 days before he died he wonted his false teeth in he was a very proud man . How will you ever be able to get over seeing someone you love so much suffer so .when he died his hands un clenched as the frond went away he finally was not suffering . In love it was kind to let him go .Take many videos and talk every day cause you will have those memory'
- —Guest ang