From the article: What Can You Expect During the Final Stages of Lung Cancer
We don't like to talk about the final stages of cancer, but sometimes hearing stories from others can give us ideas on ways to cope, and not only cope, but honor our loved one during their last days. What helped you cope as a family member or what helped you honor your loved one during the final stages of cancer? Share Your Story
My Dad, My Hero
- My dad is in the final stages of a 18 month battle with stage IV kidney cancer. I am currently lying in the hospital bed beside him in a hospice. Every single day I lose another piece of my dad but he keep fighting and I am here to cherish every single second that we have left. My father has been my Dad, Mum and Best friend and when I lose him, I will lose part of my heart. I love you dad, keep fighting and we are here for you every step of the way xxx
- —Guest Daddy's Little Girl
Comfort to a passing sister
- It is true that they still can hear you even that close to passing when I was called to be by sisters side in her last days I asked her if I could pray with her even though she had no physal connection with this world any longer I found tears streamming down her checks while I prayed with her I BELIEVE that was Gods way of letting me know she made a connection to our heavenly father and was ready to accept his call for her to come home she passed two days later. Simply relish the final days for our window of opportunity to be with the passing is so limited and this is an example they really are hearing what is around them. And this experience I relive so often and it also helps comfort my broken heart
- —Guest Brenda
Mom might have lung cancer but not sure
- Hi I just lost my wife of 27 years to lung cancer She was a little short of breath had some pain in her back, I took her to doctor they did xray found a nudule did an mri showed a tumor in her lung, next week a bunch of test, pet , breath , blood work, then they took a sample of the tumor. Told me she would be ok for now. Was at home a few days noticed she was feeling worse and was startion to look yellow took her to doctors again this time she was admitted to hospital said her liver was 10 times the size it should be. She requisted that no heroic measure be taken. She was in much pain and was doped up most of the time the last day with her she was still coherent she asked me to tell her what was real and what was not. The doctor said she was real close to death i still don't know what happened, i got in bed with her she started breathing funny they she passed with me snuggled next to her, It has only been since sept 13 i hurt from head to toe, i have no joy i miss here so much
- —Guest Dave
- Finding it so difficult at the moment. chemo no longer effective and had to be discontinued.My role was to motivate dad to stay strong and keeping fighting.we have lost the battle....and now it's silence when I vist. I visit. no common ground minor.
- —Guest me myself and i
everyday is different
- well I have been taking care of my uncle for about 1 month now he was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer on aug 21 that was already spreaded to his 3 and 4th rib his right arm and and both upper lobes of his lungs...we had him for about 4 days before he went to the er where they told us he needs hospice service. my uncle refused chemo so now we are here fighting everyday as its his last. my uncle has days where he is up and moving around and days where he is sleep and in pain most of the time. I was curious on any responses that can give me an outlook on what to expect during the last couple of months before his dimise...thanks and GOD bless everyone who is fighting this battle
be positive and stay strong
- my mom was recently diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer & it is devastating. like all of you, she is my everything. i read all these posts and i genuinely hope that everyone eventually finds inner peace. my mom thru this process has remained so strong, so brave and is such an inspiration that she inspires me everyday to be a better person. i cannot imagine this will get any easier, i cannot comprehend the "why" - i can only give my sympathies to everyone, to cherish life and to spend time with the ones you love. try to live, love & laugh for as long as you can.
- —Guest nicholas
- I love my Mum, I don't want her to die. Please, I have faith. Keep my mum alive to see her great grand children and a life time holiday she had planned for years. I'm so angry at the NHS for their failure in this, how so called experts can take my mums hand and say its serious after 18 months of 'its just a cyst'. They have no morals .. my mum has a death sentence because of a failure in systems. This thing could have been removed at 2 cm. Now it's 7 cms and spread. Today her sight, her balance has been affected. Her voice is hoarse. Her neck swollen. Her weight diminishing. Her pain increasing. She has more tests this week... to determine the breadth of spread. How do I tell my children, the hospital I work in has f'd up. I feel alone, a failure, I haven't stopped crying. Editor's note: I am so so sad you have to go through this. Unfortunately your mum isn't alone in having her diagnosis missed for so long. We desperately need a screening test and better ways to diagnose lung cancer as we have for some other cancers. I don't know what words to say for your children. Our little ones are so trusting, and it's heartbreaking to let them know how often the medical system fails us. But you are NOT a failure. I can hear your love compassion and in your words and your mum is so very fortunate to have you in her life.
- —Guest M
Life lessons cruelly learnt
- My mum was found to have a shadow on her chest X-ray two years ago and got referred to a respiratory physician having been an ex smoker. A CT suggested a Cyst. Discharged. The shadow grew six months later so a further CT. radiologist no change, just a bullous cyst linked to COPD and emphysema. a further six months bigger again, a further CT no change. Whilst on holiday my mum collapsed with seemingly a Respiratory Tract Infection. She required oxygen. Antibiotics did not work. Persistent hoarseness, headaches and nausea and enlarged lymph nodes thought neck. Weight loss of 2 stone. CT scan showing 'serious' lesion, and spread. The radiologist who reported previous scans suspended prior for serious concerns around his medical expertise or lack of it. I want to scream and shout. I'm crying a lot. My mum is my best friend, my rock. A kind genuine loving lady. She did not deserve to be a 'lesson' to change pathways or procedures. This thing should have been removed two years ago. :
- —Guest Splendora
My Poor Mommy
- My Mom has cancer. And we thought that everything's going to be OK! She had a surgery, they said it's all cool, no more breast cancer, you are healthy! We did regular check ups, took out medicine! And then, after 2 years they said, that she has problems with her lungs. It was in October. Nothing dangerous, just some chemo-treatment and it'll be cool. We did it, then we stopped. And in may she was still fine! 100% alive and active! We started taking new medicine she got even better, but the doctor told to take chemo-treatment again. Nothing dangerous, just a year and a half will be the risk time and then everything's going to be cool! And at first it was OK. Mom didn't feel ill. The 1st, the 2nd, the 3d... and after the 3d one she got sick. Very sick. Today they said that she has a month and a half to live. Two at most. Nothing helps, that's it. And I'm 19 and in college. I have no one. I want my Mom with me, but dear God, let her have a quick painless death. I don't want her to suffer.
- —Guest Meya
My little 5yr old Alissia.
- She was diagnosed with pineoblastoma brain cancer a very rare type, nearly three years ago she has had six weeks of proton radiation two bone marrow transplants chemotherapy, she just relapsed and it has spread to her spine im so scared for her its such a terrible feeling so see my little girl go through so much pain and suffering may Gold bless her. Love Dad.
- —Guest chris
in deepest hurt
- My mother had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer but had spots outside the uterus surgery removed 80% of tumor. Unfortunately no ins medicaid either so chemo was not an option 4 months later were here at hospital terminal it has spread to liver. So many uncertainties.. I'm not sure I'm ready to let go.They want us to switch care to hospice. . But I can't I feel like it's giving up on her. She's more consionce so It feels wrong. I don't know what to do? ? Editor's note: asking for hospice doesn't mean you are giving up. Most of the time people get MORE care and support in many different ways. Also it's important to understand the sign up. A doctor often needs to predict that survival will be less than 6 months, but if someone lives longer that is wonderful - you can always sign up again. Hospice provides so many ways of making life more comfortable for however long someone has left.
- —Guest priscilla
Woman of Grace
- my sister had breast cancer for 3 yrs. she departed from us on 9/27/12. its not a day goes by that I miss her. she was the rock of our family. through her pain and suffering she didn't complain. I wish this kind of pain upon no one. she is the reason I have an new outlook on life. we miss you so much sissy. we know you are smiling down at us. xoxo
Hard for Family to Accept
- I know she is ready to go. It is the rest of us that have to accept the fact the she will be leaving soon and it is our goal to make it a HAPPY ending.
- —Guest Julieta Ibarra
I Still Need Her
- I'm a 15 year old girl, who's mother had lung cancer and she's been 1 year cancer free. But she still is in pain and it makes me cry when I see her trying to do the things that she used to do before she got cancer! My mom is my hero and I would do anything that I could to take away her pain! My mom has always been there for me and she still is here for me today. When I found out that my mom had cancer I was so upset because I was worried that I might lose her and I was only 14 and I still needed my mom do help me get with my teenage years and also my adulthood, and I'm so glad that I still have her with me today! God, thank you for not taking my mom home yet, because I still need her and she still needs me!
- —Guest Crystal
- My dad was diagnosed with lung cancer in early january 2013. Said they couldnt operate. Had a course of radiation and a little bit of chemo. And we were told it didnt work. Another harder round of radiation they say. Then it was meant to have shrunk a little. My dad has had so many lung infections and hospital stays. A couple of weeks ago they done the laser treatment and said they got a good chunk of the cancer. We thought great its working ( not ). Now my dad has been sent home with the nothing more they can do words. And it is heartbreaking watching my dad dying in front of me and my mum and family. We cant do anything to save him. I am so scared because he is at the end stages now. I really cant handle it and i dont think i will when it comes to the end. My dad is the only man that has stayed constant in my life. I hate seeing him go through this. He must be so scared to, im trying to stay tough. But not doing to good as i said i am petrified.
- —Guest Wendy
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