From the article: 12 Tips for Supporting a Loved One With Cancer
We all want to support our loved ones with cancer, but knowing the best ways to show our love and support can be hard, when we haven't lived with cancer ourselves. Listening attentively, lending a hand, expressing our love in words, and just "being there," are all important ways to say "I am here for you and you are special."
What have you done that has helped someone with lung cancer cope? Please share your tips or stories, and read what others have found helpful for supporting a loved one with cancer. Share Your Tip
My sister is my Hero
- I love my sister so much, she is truly my heart. She was diagnosed in July 2012 of Stage 3A lung cancer. She lives 600 miles away and have seen her 3 times in the last year. When I visit, we spend so much quality time together and I tell her how much I love her daily/hourly. She has had chemo and radiation and you would never even know that she has this diagnoses. She goes to work everyday, never been sick and very positive and has a very strong faith in the lord. We just got back her new scans and they found a lymph node behind the collar bone so she just started a different chemo treatment and again feels great. It is very difficult for me that I can't be with her to make her a cup of coffee everyday, hug her and help her with chores around the house. I know she knows I love her and she carries me with her in her heart as well. She is a fighter and even helps other patients stay positive by her inspirational words and hope. I feel so fortunate to have her in my life.
- —Guest cb
Small things
- One of my mother in laws favorite things was taking bubble baths however she was to weak to clean the tub each time, so that was my small contribution to her , I miss u Joan xo
- —nanelle
Feeling Lost
- My mom Aged 65 has just been diagnosed with stage 3 Lung Cancer... An I dont have any clue how to deal with it... Im being strong in front of her letting her know I have her back and am behind whatever decision she decides to make.... But truthfully I feel so lost an dont know what im going to without her... Shes all I have!!!
- —Guest Sheri
Journey begins
- Thank you all so much for posting and sharing your experiences. I am going to stay with my friend for a couple of days while she undergoes a biopsy. She has already dealt with breast cancer and now she has a growth in her muscles and her lungs are starting to collapse. It does not look good. As much as I want to believe this is not happening, it is. I want to be with her and support her any way I can. My mother died of cancer after five years of illness and pain when I was 22. I did not know how to deal with that then, I now know just being there to hold a hand, lend a shoulder to cry on, make tea for, or anything else that offers comfort is all I can do. I will keep checking back here to learn from you all. Again thank you for sharing such personal stories, and I wish this disease did not take our loved ones from us. Love and strength.
- —myfriendChris
Dad's living with lung cancer
- For two years now my Dad has suffered with poor health which resulted in his needing a Colostomy. Ironically, it was due to that procedure that the spot on his lung was discovered. He has had Radiation treatments and Chemo. but recently stopped all treatments after meeting with his Oncologist (which I was present for). He has approx. 6-10 months of living left. The one thing he felt made him feel at all well were the steroids he'd used during Chemo. and he'd been told that they could cause kidney trouble. I reasoned that if we know what his timeline for life expectancy is and are told that it is relatively short, why not the meds? So long as it's managed in dosage. He wants it, it helps his appetite and symptoms of depression. The Oncologist agreed with me, and Dad felt fully supported and listened to. We can't change the diagnosis but as long as we stay informed and look for reasonable solutions to each challenge Dad faces. He'll see and feel our love as we make more memories with him.
- —Guest PM in NS
Thank you
- Your stories and advice are so helpful. My Aunty (age 40) doesnt have lung cancer but bowel cancer and has just been given 12 - 24 months to live and starts chemo next week. She is more like a sister to me than an Aunty, I love her so much and I am having trouble dealing with the news aswell as the rest of our family. After reading your stories I have picked up on a lot of things I am not doing that I should be. If anyone has any more advice for my Aunty, myself and my family I would really love to hear it - just feeling a little lost and frightened at the moment. Thank you. Editor's note: I will email you privately. To everyone who has shared their stories here, a big thank you. And please continue to share. It makes such a difference when you know you're not alone coping with all of the emotions and trials that accompany a diagnosis of cancer.
- —Guest camae
Be A Beacon of Hope
- My best friend of 30 years was diagnosed with 3A lung cancer last Fall. It's now matastic stage 4 a year later. She's only 55. We've gone through surgeries (lung and brain), chemo, radiation, pleural effusion, and more chemo. I have and will be with her every step of the way, regardless of outcome. When she's down I lift her up, when she doesn't eat, I put easy food near her to take like medicine, to provide what's needed for her body to fight. When she questions "why me", I remind her that much of life is difficult, and hence the good times so precious. Then we together make more good moments. When she's weak, I'm strong. We keep negativity out, we research, we never lose hope, we search and find the support we need, for every unexpected stage of this process. We've shared more love with each other and our families than we would have otherwise. A hard yet beautiful journey for all if done well.....remember, anything is possible and both mind and spirit are very powerful.
- —Guest Sandy
life on loan
- My friend Has never smoked before I can't believe it's true She is my friend as you will see Because she means the world to me She stood by me when I was ill She helped me swallow that bitter pill That was 10 years ago Our kids have grown and flown the nest. Now it's my turn to do my best. We're separated by 200 miles But that won't change our hugs nor smiles I'll be there for her you see Because she means the world to me She's got a cancer That she will fight And try her best with all her might. To rise above this dreadful plight I will stick around you will see Because she means the world to me The road is long,you cannot waver This life on loan is not a favour I'll stick around as you will see Because you mean the world to me. I have not seen you over the years But never forgot our fun nor fears We live apart by many miles The very thought of you Always raises smiles We worked together when our kids were small But now they've grown very tall Off to work and time has flown 10
- —Guest watson 3
Helping loved ones...
- My mother-in-law is dying of cancer. She looks forward to getting pedicures and manicures and new fingernail polish when I come to visit. I will also sometimes fix her hair.
- —Guest Cindi
Humor is Very Helpful
- My sister has stage 3a lung cancer and is having a full bone scan Tuesday. We've always laughed together, and our private humor is what keeps things "real." She was given 1.5 years, and I will sorely miss her.
- —Guest Bean
do's and dont's that I found helpful
- I do call but respect her hubby and grandchild time. I don't delete any e-mails from her. I do ask her if she knows how much I love her. I don't spend much time talking about my trivial problems. I talk to her once a week if not more. I listen to her by taking the cotton out of my ears and placing them in my mouth. I do know that I will miss her tremendously. I don't give up, because I know she isn't. I do care for all of you reading this because now we are all part of that STRONG for THEM family.
- —wojo64
cancer
- How to treat a loved one with cancer........just show them you love them.
- —Guest griz4lyfe@gmail.com
My loving twin sister has lung cancer
- What I have done for my twin sister, is be there for her, and listen, shes at the end stage of terminal lung cancer, she has been on chemo 4 years now, but not working... I ask her what would would you like today...weather it food or just spending quaility time with her....laughing alot.....
- —Barbielove61
One more day
- My father in law is suffering from the last stage of lung cancer and he also is a heart patient who has had 3 heart surgires, he is all so weak kids love their father and grand children adore him still there's nothin we can do to ease the pain of my family and him... I pray to God each day to help him cope and fight just one day more each day for the family and all the people who love him..
- —Guest KIRAT sINGH
Giving What You Can
- My 39 yr old Godaughter has teminal stage 4 cancer. She lives 3000 miles away and I had no idea she was sick. Once I found out, I contacted her and came to spend time with her and her 2 small children. I am not currently working and had no reason to not be able to be there. I was with her for two hrs when I got a call regarding a position id been waiting months for. So instead of staying a full month as planned, I'm only staying one week. I've done everything I could while I've been here. I've taken complete care of her two children. Helped her complete important paperwork, went to Dr. Appt's. But I think the one thing that mattered most is while she was having her chemotherapy treatment, I went and got her a pretty white stuffed dog. I handed it to her and she instantly cuddled it around her face and went to sleep with it! Sometimes its the small things that matter most. I hope I won't have to begin work right away and can come back for a while longer. I love her so much!
- —Guest Kimmie Davis
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